#this post sums up all these losers

[lunavrse]

WHAT YOU HEARD pt 2

LANDO NORRIS

summary ★ : streets are saying yn finally broke up with her loser boyfriend and guess who couldn't be happier? if you guessed lando, you'd be wrong, it's actually her (but lando's a really close second).

category ★ : smau.

notes ★ : as always times and dates are irrelevant and spelling mistakes are intentional. longer than the last part but worse 🫶. and when i use those harry styles and taylor russell pictures again, mind your business🤫 poll at the end!!!

pt 1

tagged: visavni

Liked by landonorris, monaspencer, zendaya and 1 154 748 others

yn_ln back to your regularly scheduled content of my face 🤗 did a fun little shoot with with a friend

View all 4 755 comments

user ugh face cardddd

user it's giving retro realness

user ur face card rlly is sum serious

visavni this was sm fun!

yn_ln thank u for always delivering

user always something amazing when y'all collab

user 1st slide is giving scream for some reason

user real "please don't kill me Mr Ghostface, I want to be in the sequel" vibes

user serving 70s editorial

user Already added to my Pinterest board 💞

user gagged, died, dead

user And I eat it up everytime.

landonorris real

user ofc instagram user landonorris on a yn_ln post

user not even f1 driver💀

user seeing different concepts from you is my absolute fav thing ngl

landonorris you look leng.

user anyone else side eye at this comment?

user honestly? not really, i'm sure he's said worse things

user legs are legging...

user what does this even mean

user the girls that get it, get it💋

user gah dam why are you legs so long🤤

user she's so overrated

user now why are you manspreading 🤨 do you want people to sit in ur lap???

user me wondering if that seats taken

monaspencer you've done it again! it's giving everything it's supposed to give🔥

yn_ln tysm ml🫶🏾

landonorris so she gets a reply but not me🫤

yn_ln now what was i supposed to say?

landonorris thank you?

yn_ln you're welcome.

landonorris oh that's no- ykw, you're right, i should be grateful

user damn right

user if he's not like this i don't want him

user He really said when a bad bitch tells me to shut up, I do it.

user i just know that ezra is somewhere sick to his stomach

user personally, I'd never recover

zendaya your shoots are always so good

yn_ln tysm queen. means a lot coming from you<3

user girl you do damage to me🥴

user amazing shoot 😍

yourfriend7 slenderman proportions🤩

yn_ln and if i kill myself, what then?

yourfriend7 😘

yn_ln spawning in your room🔜

yourfriend7 not beating the allegations pookie

user ����😭😭

user love seeing your face pop up when i open insta

user the only reason people care about you is bc of ezra

user you're joking...

user you're delusional just like ur fav

user and yet here you are, on her page

tagged: landonorris, yn_ln

motormouth Lando and Y/n spotted out and about via friends and fans. New wag or just friends hanging out? Let us know what you think!

Liked by user, user, user and others

View all 854 comments

user tagging them is so messy.

user well it is a gossip page

user but still... the audacity

user man like lando norris yeah

user friends can't hang out?

user The way that one picture looks really romantic until you realise Mona's cropped out

user Ezra was right to dump her😒 She never deserved him and she's mid anyway. Never did and never will get the hype.

user stacy why aren't you watching your kids instead of commenting on things that don't concern you? user yeah stacy, why aren't you being a mom to your kids? user stacy is a man who, instead of paying attention to the kids he only gets to see certain times, is out here dick riding someone who doesn't know he exists. user damn, someone named a baby boy stacy? user Well, my mom wanted to be Stacy's Mom but only decided on having one kid, and unluckily for me, I was that kid user born in 2003, named stacy and has kidS (multiple!), yeah, no wonder he's on a gossip page instead of watching those kids.

user he really wasted no time

user i hope he knows he's probably a rebound

user the way y'all purposely hid the fact that mona was also there in the 3rd slide 😐

user this the type of timing i need to be on

user i just know that one twitter user is laughing rn

user she's just using him😕

user he's so weird for this, like she just recently got out of her relationship and now this??

user love the fact that they get to hang out more

user It's still too soon since her last relationship, so I'm thinking they're only friends.

user she probably broke up with ezra just to be with lando 🤢

user did she or Ezra tell you that? no? yeah, shut up

user and who would blame her? NO ONE

user mona erasure, i will not stand for this!

user the way he's looking at her😵

user fellas is it weird to hang out with your friends?

user only if your friends are the opposite sex, it seems

user they're probably laughing at this (if they even see it)

user i just know lando is giggling

user fr, like dating rumours with her?

user mans is kicking his feet

ezragallagher has uploaded to their story.

user: what you over here being messy for ???

user: bro move on!!!

user: i support you, toxic king🙌

user: ezra, baby, you can do better

sashabardot: really ezra? what the actual fuck is wrong with you

user: bros going through it

user: this is kinda pathetic don't you think?

user: someone's paying attention to their ex

user: babes this isn't your cf

user: don't you have work to focus on?

user: the way this would make me get back with you

user: ☕☕☕

user: this feels targeted

user if only i had half the confidence and audacity that you did🙂‍↔️

user: this is an... interesting song choice

user: see, me personally, i would never show my face on the internet but you do you💪

user: better as in you?

user: hope you guys get back together 🤞

user: God, I see how you've given some people the courage of lions😂

user: might as well have tagged her

user: just how i like my men... toxic and pettty 😍 *pretty but petty works just as well

user:

yn_ln has added to their story.

user: uhhhhh

user: is this what i think it is?

user: oh!

user: please tell me this is in response to ezra

user: beabadoobee mention!!!

user: I love this song.

user: the way fucking batman wouldn't be able to get this out of me

user: this is wild

user: stop being so cryptic! is this about ezra or not

monaspencer: messy asf😭

yn_ln: he started it, so idgaf also, it could've been worse

monaspencer: true, you could've posted to still your best

yn_ln: lmaooo, can you imagine💀💀

user: taste>>>

user: have you ever thought that maybe you were doing something wrong if he cheated on you?

user: oh no

yourfriend: do you ever wonder...

yn_ln: YOU'RE FUCKING SICK😭😭😭

user: You know what you're implying w this right?

user: publicizing the fact that you've been cheated on is insane

user: ezra fucking gallagher, count your days.

user: ok i alr know this is about ezra but who is the girl???

user: are you not embarrassed?

user: 🤨

user: ik you guys dated and everything but he wouldn't cheat🙄 you're just making up lies to slander him

tagged: lukacyr, yn_ln, landonorris and 3 others.

Liked by lukacyr, yn_ln, landonorris and others

monaspencer spent some time with some of my favourite people... and lando

View all 1 787 comments

user you and luka are so 🥺

lukacyr that's my baby!!!

monaspencer 🩷🩷🩷

user dare i say... couple's trip???

yn_ln hot girl alert!!!

monaspencer love youuu

user lando catching strays?

lukacyr so gorgeous, im so lucky���

monaspencer i love you pretty boy🩷

user wish i was that cat

landonorris and lando? damn i thought we were besties😔

lukacyr we all know she loves you

monaspencer 🤥

landonorris thanks luka, knew i could count on you for the truth❗

user wait, whose cat is that?

user love how they're all just living their best lives.

user oof uno w yn and luka? I just know there was lots of yelling

user them making up their own rules and frustrating those of us who play the game properly 😭

lukacyr sorry you guys are boring 😔

user ughhhh miss spencer you are looking teww damn foineee 🤤

user sprinted to this post when i got the notification

user mona + yn = the prettiest friends. ughhh, love them

user you and Luka make me feel so single and im in a relationship!!!

user that's -

user just smile and wave

user game night is back baby!!!

user adding the song to my playlist immediately

user slayyy

lilymhe can't wait for the next dinner!

monaspencer you and alex are hosting nexts babes

yn_ln i have a meeting that night

landonorris me too

lilymhe alex will be cooking

yn_ln i will be in attendance

lilymhe hey! i'm not that bad

lukacyr sureeee

alex_albon you are not talking, mr i once set fire to water

user how tf

user i love tht Luka buys her flowers whenever he can

user i have so many questions

user do you and Luka want a third?

user 🔥🔥🔥

user your nails in the first slide is everything to me

user not mona and yn having matching rings,,, i love them😭😭

user very on brand for them

user they all look so cool, I wish i was apart of their friend group

user real, they all look like so much fun

user TV girl>>>

user face beat is so FAB imo

user wait what's happening to me... 🧍‍♂️🚶‍♂️🧎‍♂️🐈🐾

user the dress from the last slide is EVERYTHING

Liked by monaspencer, landonorris, lilymhe and others

yn_ln 1st slide is me after thirdwheeling my (girl)friend and her boyfriend 😴 and the last slide is literally them, I'm sick😞

View all 1 853 comments

user girlll

user this said so much and nothing at all

user how can someone be so cute and hot at the same time???

monaspencer ik you're not talking lol

user what does this meannn

lilymhe i would never treat you like that bbg

landonorris don't you have a boyfriend? matter of fact ﹫alex_albon come get your girl

lilymhe snitch😒

alex_albon lily???

maxfewtrell dinner was great, sending mine and p's thanks again

yn_ln tell her she needs to join us for game night next time and you're invited too ig

maxfewtrell im starting to think you like my girlfriend more than me

yn_ln i do!

maxfewtrell fairs, i like her more than you

user last slide unlocked a memory

lukacyr and proud of it

lukacyr you're just mad she likes me more

yn_ln thats so funny considering she's in my bed rn

landonorris should've been me

user I jus know Lando took that 5th photo

user and you know this how...

user idrk but you can always tell when he's the one taking her pictures bc something about it just makes her look.. especially stunning ya know? like you can tell someone who's in love w her took the pic

user you're actually so right

landonorris a whole slide of just me? yeahhh you want me so bad

user i aspire to be this type of delusional

yn_ln oh absolutely

landonorris so glad you're admitting it to the world😌

user i cannae tell if this is sarcasm or not

user it's ok, neither can lando

user in the words of one troye sivan, "face card, no cash, no credit"

user when he sang "look, look at you", he meant her

user and when he sang " baby, I'm first in place" he was singing about Lando

user swear i saw you guys at that restaurant but was too nervous to make sure

user i would have said hello ngl

user i didnt want to disturb and like i said, i was so nervous.

user have i mentioned that i love everything that is happening here, bc i do

user genuinely thought the 2nd slide was y'all eating sushi and was amazed that you got lando to eat it

user same! but i didn't even question it and just scrolled

user would honestly be flattered if i was compared to arnaz and breanna, they were such a cute couple

user true but i still can't get over the fact that her dad was called Flex lmao

user eye cant get over the shows theme song, like i still think it's good

user not to mention Breanna was in her fashion bag, girlie was serving LOOKS.

user Check out my profile for art of your favourite artist's favourite artist!

user omg that's crazy haha, i have 10 lambo's btw, like i am super rich and you'd never be tired around me bc i'd make sure you get 10 hours of sleep (2 extra hours bc you deserve it, must be exhausting being so gorgeous)

landonorris this person literally set fire to my house and is stealing from their job. please report them so i can have some peace of mind🙏🙏

user YOOO, this is NOT TRUE, NOBODY REPORT ME FSTHSNTH

user idk man, why would Lando lie :/

landonorris exactly, for what reason?

user ik this is a lie but imma do it anyway lmao

landonorris why would i lie?

user bffr.

user: i know we're all focused on yn's beauty(and rightfully so) but can we take a moment to appreciate that picture of lando???

user: like hello, he looks so hot

user 💖

user LIVING it up

landonorris: you ever see someone so beautiful you start barking violently? cause thats me rn

landonorris: got me acting unwise❗

yn_ln: please calm down you freak

landonorris: mmm call me a freak again😩

user: what the

user: he's so real for this

user: jesus h christ

user: think i've had enough of instagram today, peace out✌

landonorris has added to their story.

user: mona's miss steal your girl well not really your girl🤣

landonorris: blocked

user: i want someone to look at me like that

user the art in the background is so pretty

user: damn, you're never making it to relationship status

user: she's wearing orange... interesting...

user: art and art/two masterpieces in one photo

user: guess i need to ask Mona and Yn if they want a third instead

user: i'd say deserved 🤷

monaspencer: you're both such liars

user: waitt,, the fits are eatinggg

user: they literally look like they're in love

user: women *sighs dreamily*

yn_ln: damn, i look good wait when did you take this picture

landonorris: yeah you do. orange is really your colour, you should wear it more often

monaspencer has added to their story.

user: not them getting "this you"-d💀

user: they are never beating the dating allegations

user: exposed in a single photo

user: you're an absolute legend for this

user: this just in, yn ln is a LIAR!!

user: i don't know why you're friends with her🙄

yn_ln: you make my ass itch

monaspencer: funny, i was thinking the same thing about you

yn_ln: why do you do this to me?

monaspencer: suffer x

user: my otp!!!

user: ugh, what a eyesore(i'm violently jealous)

user: They look so good together, they should just date already smh.

user: now it definitely seems like y'all went on a couple's trip👀

landonorris: send me this🙏🏻

whatyouhe4rd has posted a new article, based on your likes, this may interest you. check it out?

landonorris has uploaded a story.

user replied to your story: you're jokinggg, this is a joke

user replied to your story: you didn't actually post this, im clearly just seeing things im just gonna pretend that it didn't happen since you deleted it

user replied to your story: When I tell you I burst out laughing seeing this, I'm not lying.

maxfewtrell replied to your Close Friends story : you did not delete the 1st one just to post it on your CF

landonorris: it was an accident?

maxfewtrell: an accident that's going to end up on hundred's of gossip sites

landonorris: rachel is going to kill me, isnt she?

maxfewtrell: seriously surprised she hasn't already

yn_ln replied to your Close Friends story : Rachel is going to kill you

landonorris: i just told max the same thing, we're soul mates fr

yn_ln: i'm being serious

landonorris: so am i but did it make you smile?

yn_ln: yes?

landonorris: then it was worth it and i'll die happy

yn_ln: you're so cheesy🙄

landonorris for you i will be mozzarella, parmesan, chedda, gouda, brie, cottage, feta, swiss, burrata, cream, etc.

user replied to your story: this is iconic, lando norris, my fav malewife

randomfriend replied to your Close Friends story : i think you've been on tiktok too much

charles_leclerc replied to your Close Friends story : your head must be a fascinating place to be in, how do you do it?

landonorris: my brother in christ and racing, you can not be talking

user replied to your story: you're so right and you should say it

user replied to your story: Sometimes we don't have to share what's on our mind with the world

user replied to your story: I'm fucking creasing

⤷ end note ‧ ★ : heyyyy, how y'all doing🧍... sorry for the wait, i really did have most of this done and in my drafts but then writer's block hit and i left it for a while. also, i kinda suck at making articles lmao. thank you to everyone who reads and/or interacts with my smaus, ily<3.

taggingᯓ★ : @firelily-mimi and @appl3-0rchard

[sweetlikeyou]

is it casual now?

sum. you knew it was casual and you knew you were just a replacement for him to use but as he kissed you once more with as much sweetness and reverence in each caress as honey and made your body hum with pleasure beneath him, you thought maybe being a replacement isn't as bad if you get to hold him in your arms for just a little longer.

pairing: gojo satoru x fem!reader

warnings: ANGST, unrequited love, implied sexual themes, implied gojohime

song to listen to while reading: casual [slowed & reverb] [rain]

w/c: 940 words

read it on ao3

you opened your instagram just to see your face reflected on your 'for you' page with gojo satoru, japan's most beloved actor. he was standing next to you, out of all people on a red carpet – for his latest movie premiere – with his arm slung around your shoulder and a carefree smile on his face, he was radiant in the picture almost blinding the onlooker with his dazzling smile and perfect face and crystal eyes. while standing next to him you looked like a black hole stealing all his sunshine, sucking it up into your dark void and making his light dim. you squeezed your eyes shut and opened them again and opened the comments in one of the posts before you could stop yourself.

gojoplsbemybabysdaddy: such a slut!

gojosgf: god, doesn't she see he's just using her?

gojosblues: that whore!

gojoismyhubby: please as if gojo could ever love someone like her! i mean just look at her!

infiniterizzlergojo: their whole 'relationship' is so fake, god, it makes me sick!

this was fine. these comments were fine. you were used to them. but still it hurt to see them. seeing how you weren't good enough for him stated so plainly and simply.

but the one that hurt the most was:

gojohimeforevaa: she's a homewrecker, that's what she is! gojo and utahime are meant to be! but this bitch came between them smh.

you squeezed your eyes blinking back tears. the other ones hurt but they hurt in the way it would hurt when someone said something particularly mean about you and you knew it wasn't true, not exactly, but still you took it to heart. but this–this comment was an arrow pierced directly through your heart, putting to words exactly what you've been feeling.

after all, you knew you were just a replacement for someone gojo truly wanted yet, yet you still couldn't bring it on yourself to end things with him like you probably should. you were selfish like that.

even your own friends called you a loser behind your back – thinking you wouldn't know – 'cause despite knowing the truth behind your supposed 'relationship' you still hung around. you've heard your fair share of rumors too, of how you're just some a girl he bangs on his couch and leaves behind to fend for herself but you're immune to them–or at least that's what you tell yourself.

but still you remembered the first time gojo kissed you, he held your face in his hands so gently, so reverently and brought your lips to his oh-so-tenderly that one might think he was just in love with you, and you thought so too, or at least hoped so. and when he kissed you slow and languid like honey dripping down marble butterflies erupted in your chest but when you two had finally broken off your kiss he had leaned his forehead against yours and whispered so softly, "we're not together," as if the words he said wouldn't break your heart into too many pieces too count and make you have anger issues every other time you two kissed in the future.

you remembered how he had said against your lips "baby, no attachment, 'k?" while fucking you deep and slow for the first time and your stupid emotions had gotten a hold of you and a few stray tears had slipped past your eyes but gojo thinking they were tears of pleasure had fucked you harder, making you break into a million tiny little pieces as you came apart under him with equal parts pleasure and pain.

but still maybe it's dumb love after all, or perhaps you love being stupid because you still dream of gojo and you in the future and how maybe you would have an apartment and he would show you off to all his friends at the pier.

you know there was 'no attachment' between you two but how could you believe that? when he was just knee deep in the passenger seat of his car and was eating you out like he was drowning and you were his only salvation? when he was whispering sweet nothings against your lips and exchanging even sweeter kisses with you when you could taste yourself on his tongue? how could you believe that you were just 'casual' when just only two weeks since being introduced to his mom she invited you to her house at long beach?

it's so damn hard being 'casual' when your favorite bra still lived in the top drawer of his dresser in his apartment. and it's hard being 'casual' when you're on the phone talking down to his cousin. how could you be casual when threads of you and him were intertwined so deeply into each other's lives?

but it wasn't as if you didn't try. you did try–try to be the 'chill' girl. tried to give gojo the space and tried your fucking hardest but in all honesty you couldn't. you just couldn't be 'casual' when it came to gojo satoru.

you remembered the way he had fucked you in the bathroom yesterday while his parents were at the table, with her, the woman he truly loved. and at that moment you knew, you knew it was casual and you knew you were just a replacement for him to use but as he kissed you once more with as much sweetness and reverence in each caress as honey and made your body hum with pleasure beneath him, you thought maybe being a replacement isn't as bad if you get to hold him in your arms for just a little longer.

[merlucide]

PREGNANCY HC’S W/ BLLK BOYS PT2

notes: RAAAAAAH (og ask)

characters: Lorenzo, Otoya, Shidou

warnings: cursing, fem reader, cringe ig

bllk mlist PT1 PT2

LORENZO DON

awwwww

He’d be so attentive and helpful ☹️💗

Always making sure you’re okay and comfortable

When you tell him that your prego he doesn’t believe you at first

He’s like ‘Ha good one’

But then you’re like ‘I’m fr’

he gets all quiet and kinda like😧 

‘Mio amore.. a baby..?!’

HE IS SO HAPPY!!!!! :3 like is so shocked bc he didn’t think he’d REALLY have a family of his own <33

Hugs you so tightly and kisses your temple and then your lips <33

Also calls Snuffy afterwards lmao

Wants your pregnancy to be as easy for you as possible

You’ll kinda turn into a couch potato LMAO

He’ll bring you bunch of snacks for you to munch on— makes sure you get enough protein do you and the baby stay healthy

You can only glare at him when he goes for 2nd and 3rd rounds of ice cream and your munching on celery 😐

“Think of the baby☺️”

“The baby wants deep fried Oreos. Now.”

Rests his head on your belly bump and talks to the baby 

He’ll put his chin on your bump and look up at you— 🥹💗

He can’t wait to meet the baby <33

Tells you all the time how much he loves you and how excited he is

OTOYA EITA

FYI I hate on Otoya in between hcs so… I’m sorry I literally can’t write for him if I don’t hate a little

ah yes, this loser do better

pls like he’s actually useless 

ugh

Anywho- you tell him “I’m pregnant!” and this mf literally is the embodiment this

like his fucking face and everything

and it turns into

“SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT”

“ pregnant?!? With a baby?!” 

Yeah

He’s very excited to be a daddy! just so stupid.

He tells all of his friends and posts about it on on every social he has.

Literally spams Karasu’s phone 😭

Karasu had lost the bet that Otoya’s swimmers wouldn’t be strong enough….

Wants to be very involved with getting ready for the baby—

When yall go clothes shopping for the baby he just finds the absolutely dumbest onesies/ shirts😭

like Otoya, are you trying to dress our baby or fucking clown

HE ALSO ORDERS CUSTOM ONSIES 😭 they say sum like “Daddy’s little ninja” or “My dad’s my favorite soccer player” 😭?? the first ones cute tho

When you are like have back pain he’ll massage your back and run you a nice bubble bath :)

Oh and the pregnancy hormones.

Him and Kaiser tie for worst comforters during your pregnancy 😭

Unlike Kaiser- he doesn’t shut up and try to deescalate the situation 😐

Instead he just kinda stands there like

he eventually asks what’s wrong and just hugs you bc he has no idea what to do rn 😭

He cares though 😭 just actually so stupid

He panics a lot during like your whole pregnancy lmao

Scared the baby’s just gonna P O P out ig

Though he does tell you how much he appreciates you and the gift you’re giving him :)

He is a loser but he does love you and your future little one <3

Okay last thing but after the baby is born and the crazy mama bear mode kicks in, he is TERRIFIED of you. 😭

Bro wanted to hold the baby again and you clutched the baby and gave him the nastiest, scariest glare and bro almost pissed his pants

Sorry this is kinda short 🫠 I hate Otoya with a PASSION (don’t know if you’ve noticed) so my I struggle to come up with stuff for him 💔

SHIDOU RYUSEI

ah yes, this loser 2.0 at least he’s hot

sigh,

You told him and he just kinda goes “🤨” ‘Bffr’

and like, you are fr, and kinda really nervous too

Then he gets all quiet and blank

Then goes straight to tweaking and puts his hands on the head and yells

Starts jumping too 😭

Grabs you and kisses you so hard, followed by a bone crushing hug :3

‘Holy shit, Holy shit, Holy shit, Holy shit— SHUT UP!!!! A BABY?????!!!’

Very happy and excited:)

So proud of you and him <3

… unfortunately for you when he tells people of your pregnancy, he over shares about the process 🫠

Paints the baby’s room :3 adds some of that Shidou Flare ofc

Rubs your feet and insists you sit on his lap, despite your worries of you being to heavy.

Loves, loves, LOVES, listening to the baby— any sound he hears, he freaks out

Talks to the baby sooo much too

Worried that you’ll over do it and insists you just do nothing till the baby comes

Shidou is pretty confident he’ll be a good dad, but is scared that he won’t be what the kid needs

Shidou knows how he acts and who he is, and doesn’t want to hurt the kid :( which of course you reassure him that he would never do that, and that he’d be a great dad <3

Also super duper extra protective of you during your pregnancy, like you can’t go anywhere without him lmao

RAAAAAAH 3 NEW WORKS IN 3 DAYS 💪 ON A ROLE FRRRR

made October 6th 2024

[luna-the-moth]

i am begging for riddle with reader who makes audio porn 🙇🙇 does he accidentally stumbles by it? did cater introduced the concept to him? would his treatment of reader change after he sees them the next day? does he avoids them? he definitely can't listen to the entire recording no matter who is it for the first time LMAO he needs a 5 minute break

asidfsdf ask and ye shall receive, anon <3 riddle has so much potential on this subject tbh im <3

18+ / gn! reader / sub! riddle implied / reader does audio porn/asmr!

genuinely i think cater would consider showing it to him as a joke to see his reaction. on the other hand . he knows trey will kill him . BUT. i do think he toes the line by making enough subtle jokes about boyfriend/girlfriend/partner asmr that ace (disgusted, cringed out like the loser his is) asks him why he's talking about "lame shit like that," leading riddle to ask what it is...(he googles it later because no one will tell him, mostly out of fear, mischief, protectiveness, or some mixture of the sort).

Riddle stumbles upon one of your tamer audios at first: it's nothing saucy, just an audio where you're soothing your "partner" post-exam season. (he looked up "asmr, soothing" since that's one of the benefits to asmr trey had listed). nevertheless, his face burns red enough to rival trey's freshest strawberry tart once he realizes who the voice belongs to.

He doesn't allow himself to listen any further- how could he? to allow himself to fantasize about you so openly , , , yes you were kind, intelligent, and enjoyable to be around, but it's not as if he's harboring any romantic intent towards you!

and you...why would you post this publicly? do you not know how much power your words hold? how the timbre of your voice could send a man to his knees? to upload such intimate moments of yourself, scripted they may be...

Riddle's chest heaves as the realization of the situation fully sinks in, but he can't restrain himself from clicking the hyperlink promising "an exclusive sneak peek into [your] heart <3." yet unlike the romantic ideas riddle had come up with, the titles that appeared made him nearly faint.

"Teaching You How to Properly Obey My Orders."

"Caught You Slacking Off."

"A Reward <3"

All of them were so...intense.

Eyes razing through the posts upon posts of similarly titled audios, Riddle feels a shudder go through his body. He's never even heard of most of the acts you placed in the tags under each post but...the thought of you leaning forward into a microphone, murmuring all of your wishes to your paying listeners...he can't help but wish to know the experience, too.

His sleep that night is fitful. He cannot sleep properly . Cannot think properly . Cannot allow peace to overtake him for a moment lest his thoughts stray back to what he had found-

He's in a huffy mood the next day; far more likely to scold a slacking student or mischievous cat. But you...he doesn't approach you at all, avoiding your gaze with every accidental meeting. You wonder if perhaps this is part of him trying to spare you from his ill temper; the adeuce duo had told you of his moodiness from that morning.

But as time drags on, Riddle still can't quite look at you the same way as he once did. He's more passionate. Earnest in wanting to spend time with you, and perhaps a tad possessive as well...You sum it up as him making up for his previous mood, but any explanation you come up with never seems quite right...

<3 lemme know if you'd like to hear more thoughts about the twst charas, nonnie! im also down to talk about sub! twst boys outside of audio porn lol

[elliesflower]

loser!!!!!bff!!!!ellie!!!!!!!! hc's

i’m just jumping on the loser!ellie train bc i actually love it and i feel like she’s such a loser despite her commitment issues like…she wants to believe in love so bad, SO BAD that she is actually a hopeless romantic deep down she literally can’t help it but it’s trapped under her awkward funny girl exterior. she's so me fr 😵‍💫

all these are sfw except for a lil sum special for you FREAKS at the end teehee so as with all my content, please 18+ only, mdni!!!

cw; afab!reader, smut (at the end)

♡ all her doodles of cat and dina hello??? she’d have a whole fucking journal dedicated to just drawings of you, every time you hang out she’d be discreetly letting her eyes linger on your face so that she can sketch you out later. and she’d smile while sketching you i know she would, her cheeks would get all red and maybe she’d even giggle she wants you so bad!!! 

♡ she’d be on patrol and see a beautiful yellow flower and immediately think of you, she has to pick it for her best friend, she HAS to!! she’d lose her balance on her damn horse trying to protect it from getting damaged while she rode back into town, but it’s worth it to see the smile on your pretty face 

♡ i feel like she'd follow you around. in any context. patrol? she's slightly behind your horse to keep an eye on you. walking around jackson? she's literally always right behind your left shoulder, letting you lead the way. party at dina's? she's practically glued to you the whole night, and when the liquor would hit she was a little handsy, pathetically looping a finger through your belt loop as she followed you to the bathroom, moving your hair out of your face when you'd talk to her, etc.. and of course the next day she'd get so sick when she recalled her behavior, feeling shameful and wondering if you were catching on (ofc you were).

♡ and she’d dream about you all the time oh my gosh! esp after hanging out with you all day she wouldn’t be able to get you out of her head when she gets home. maybe she’ll definitely even write your name with a little heart next to it in her journal when she’s recalling the day. her subconscious would manifest the way that you looked trying to play her guitar into her dreams that night

♡ speaking of guitar, she’d 10000% write songs for you. she wouldn’t tell you they’re for you, of course, she’d just play the most beautiful love song you’ve ever heard and play it off like it was nothing. but when she gets home she’d probably cry because she was too scared to make a move on you :( 

♡ i also mentioned this in a previous post but this bitch would love frank ocean, so i can see her falling asleep listening to thinkin bout you and crying bout you :( or imagine in a modern world her sketching in her journal while listening to ivy before she starts to cry because she's so frustrated by her own awkwardness, and the fact she can't ever seem to tell you how she feels :((((

♡ if you ever got into another relationship would be beating herself up over it, like why didn't she make a move sooner? and she wouldn't be able to help herself, she'd get extra moody whenever your partner was around, distant and clearly irritated. poor baby is just so bad at expressing her feelings that whenever you'd ask her about it she'd just throw it under the rug and say she's on her period or something

♡ but when you and your partner inevitably broke up, of course she was right there to be your shoulder to cry on. you'd show up at her house sobbing in the middle of the night, and i think it would take her aback, honestly, how she felt her own tears falling as she embraced you on her doorstep. she would be so emotionally connected to you, your tears were hers, and she wanted nothing more than to make you feel better. she'd throw out an empty threat to your ex, and it'd make you smile. she loves to see you smile, gosh she'd do anything to make you happy, she just loves you so much!

♡ she wouldn't. stop. with the fucking. dad jokes. she'd be insatiable, truly, like...you were starting to wonder if she was getting off on telling them to you or something. but really, she just wanted to make you feel better, any little thing she could do to make you laugh would make her feel like she did good enough for the day

♡ and you'd start to see her romantically after a while, how could you not? and why didn't you sooner? she'd be so easily flustered though, every time your hand would linger on her shoulder, or whenever you'd squeeze her even tighter as you watched a horror movie...her heart would start beating all fast and her cheeks would get so rosy. maybe her pussy would even throb when she noticed you bending over extra slowly while getting dressed one day. and of course you were doing it for her

♡ she wouldn't be able to contain herself when you kiss her for the first time. and of course you made the first move, you think a loser like ellie would ever kiss you first? she'd been so desperate for you for so long i really think she might whine into your mouth. she's a whimperer, really, she'd probably gasp when you shove your hand down the front of her pants and get your fingers moving over her clit,

"oh! oh m'god," she'd be pathetic, her jaw clenching as she whined into your shoulder while your fingers slid between her wet folds with ease. she'd cum so fucking fast you'd barely have time to blink, repeating your name over and over like a prayer as she made a mess of your hand. you've never seen her like this, lust clouding her inhibition and making her so desperate it was like she was brainless, grabbing your wrist and bringing your slick-covered fingers to her mouth to suck them clean.

"i gotta taste you," she'd whine, and she'd make sure you were comfortable on the bed before spreading your legs and eating you out like she was a woman possessed, literally drunk on the taste of your pussy.

"taste so fucking good," between kitten licks to your clit, did she even know what she was saying? "i love you, i fucking love you," of course she was confessing her love for you now, when she had her nose buried in your cunt, intoxicated by the sound of your moans and the feeling of your skin being indented by her fingertips.

she may be a loser, but she'd be your loser.

[busket]

cw for transphobia and truscum/transmedicalism

this post was on my fyp and im not giving op the attention, but he should grow the fuck up!!! if the way someone else expresses their gender makes YOU uncomfortable and gives YOU dysphoria then the problem is YOU, not them. the traits listed are not traits unique to trans men; truly all men are diverse and nuanced as a group. no gender is a monolith that can be summed up so simply. it's fine to want to be masculine and no one is making you like this stuff but when you complain about other men not being manly enough for you, you sound like a fucking andrew tate douchebag loser and you're too insecure in your own masculinity to not let other people minding their own goddamn business upset you.

maybe the reason you keep finding spaces for people like you labeled as "truscum" is because you're fucking truscum. and the healthy masculine trans men who arent fucking insecure would read this and think you're an asshole and wouldn't want to associate with you

[flyingfabio]

@flyingfabio presents…

⭐ THE 2024 MOTOGP FRAUD AWARDS ⭐

i thought about doing an introduction but really the title is self-explanatory and i can’t be bothered. supposed to be an humorous post. biased i guess.

in the first category… ✨MANUFACTURERS & TEAMS✨

DUCATI. promising a seat before retracting your offer to the guy who ultimately won the championship for you over your number one guy and will take the number 1 to another manufacturer is quite the achievement. i don't want to hear the 'but who is the real loser because jorge martin is going to a worse bike blabla' crowd. i don't care. that's loser behavior and poor management from ducati but hey. *casey stoner voice* at this point who is surprised it's typical from ducati. big fat bonus fraud point for delaying ride height devices ban until 2027 so us fans can fully enjoy processions races until then. thanks guys!

KTM. poured millions into motogp and have not won a dry race since 2021. manage their finances worse than the worst crypto bro. will probably pay its riders with pennies and make them race with carboard bikes next year. bonus fraud point for being the ugliest looking bike on the grid.

APRILIA. the "yes i do the cooking (the riders) yes i do the cleaning (the riders line up)" brand. yes they DO have the only non-ducati win this season which should automatically avoid them the fraud status but alas we can’t ignore the rest of the season which was dire. for god’s sake hey needed 758 bikes to crash for aleix to win a SPRINT in BARCELONA where aprilias are supposed to fly. they are so lucky they will have jorge martin on their bike next season. HOWEVER very much a double-edged sword as he could further expose the fraud status of the bike if he’s not able to challenge for wins as the current world champion.

YAMAHA & HONDA. summarized in one picture each.

honourable mention goes to… GRESINI RACING SOCIAL MEDIA ADMIN. if i got ten dollars every time i had to see a cringy AI-assisted movie poster edit this year… if only it were just that and not also the passive agressive replies to people questioning them photoshopping black people hairstyle on gresini team members because that’s supposed to represent lewis hamilton. bonus fraud point for not issuing a single professional statement when the team fucked up with the title sponsor.

in the second category… ✨RIDERS✨

PECCO BAGNAIA. winning 10 11 races and not winning the championship because the bin it gene is still going strong after years. it's about time it bit him in the ass.

MAVERICK VINALES. sorry eden i said i didn't plan to put him here because the man is the only one on a non ducati to have a won race on a sunday. BUT i remembered something. how the hell do you leave a factory aprilia to go to a satellite ktm on your own free will.....

FRANCO MORBIDELLI. nepotism is one hell of a thing eh.

MARCO BEZZECCHI. karma is one hell of thing eh. 'marquez? i put him fifth behind pecco, martin, enea and me' all it needed was a new michelin rear to humble him. cinema!

JACK MILLER. jack's specialty is backhanded comments about riders who are objectively better than him before immediatly proceeding to flop in a stellar fashion. 'i was faster than a guy who just renewed for 12 million.' congrats jack you finished behind said guy while being on a better bike and now you're basically riding as a test rider to develop a bike so that guy can win again.

in the last category… ✨REST OF THE PADDOCK✨

STEWARDS. listen. taking a fraud-o-meter in the stewards room would be like taking a radioactivity meter in chernobyl. at so many occasions they have shat the bed this year i can't list them all. not giving penalties because 'oops we didn't see' or seeing bubbles after putting a wheel in a bin with water. fortunately next year we'll be free of freddie spencer. hallelujah!

TV DIRECTION. could be summed up by dorna filming the same guys separated by two seconds for 20 laps be like: 'yooo this shit is fire!'

MICHELIN. we've been NEEDING a new front tire for YEARS but no these guys went and introduced a new rear tire (AGAIN) that favours a bike that was already dominating. great job lads!

PEOPLE BEHIND THE MOTOGP REBRAND. between the soulless logo and the absurd slogan i think we've hit the fraud jackpot.

[twipsai]

The Phantom Rider, Sonic's "hero" status, and Sonic's love for his friends: a poorly put-together analysis

so, ive seen a non-zero amount of people say that Sonic taking on the alter ego of the Phantom Rider is out of character for him, and my knee-jerk reaction was to disagree (though, im biased, because i adore the Phantom Rider). but then i thought about the why of it all -- why does it not feel out of character for Sonic to disguise himself to cause chaos?

full post and me over-analyzing a blue hedgehog under the cut

part 1: Sonic will break the rules

well, first of all, Sonic doesnt really care too much about being a hero. he helps people because he wants to, not because its expected of him. weve all seen those satbk cutscenes reposted to hell and back, so let me be the millionth to do so

when Merlina tells Sonic that, upon taking Caliburn, he would become the villain in everyones eyes, he shrugs it off. and even later, when Gawain tries to talk him down from battling Merlina, Sonic dismisses the idea that hes doing this out of some kind of chivalry or duty, that he fights because he wants to.

there are many other instances of Sonic not really caring about rules or social conventions, and gladly breaking them if it means he can save people (dude literally runs from cops in sa2), but its never directly stated as explicitly as it is in satbk.

so, Sonic doesnt care about being a hero, and doesnt care about being a villain in other peoples eyes if he knows hes doing whats right. youd think with this facet of his character, him actively disguising himself as the Phantom Rider would be antithetical to this point, right? if he doesnt care about being seen as a villain, then he shouldnt have to mask his identity. its a fair conclusion to come to, but it also ignores what i think is one of Sonic's core personality traits;

part 2: Sonic loves his friends a lot

its strange to me that not a lot of people bring this up, because he does! from "and Amy... take care of yourself," to "I'll have you smiling by the end of this," Sonic just genuinely loves his friends to death, and doesnt want to sabotage them.

if he runs out there to cause chaos during the clean sweepstakes, completely unmasked? everyone who knows a single thing about Sonic will start to assume bad things about the Restoration. just because Sonic has good intentions doesnt mean hes above the rules, and acting like he is can put people he cares about (namely Jewel and the Diamond Cutters) at the mercy of public opinion.

he cant act like hes above the rules, especially when hes directly associated with the Restoration (even if hes not a part of it) during the clean sweepstakes.

(id also like to point out that here, Sonic doesnt even consider it a bad thing to be completely and utterly chaotic and disruptive at first; Tails has to remind him its a bad idea)

and understandably so! we see how everyone reacts to seeing Sonic as the Phantom Rider, especially Tangle -- its a tough pill to swallow, especially without all the context involved. to an outsider, it looks like Sonic is just trying to sabotage the clean sweepstakes because hes being a sore loser (or, really, any other number of malicious reasons)

but, really, i think that the point im trying to make is summed up best by Amy and Sally (even though its in Archie)

thats just not how they do things. they dont want to cause necessary chaos or danger just for the hell of it, and they certainly dont want to associate the Restoration with that sorta thing -- people look to the Restoration for hope, and while Sonic is associated with it during the clean sweepstakes, his hands are a bit tied. itd be a total dick move for him to basically throw his friends (and especially Jewel) under the bus like that, and he knows it.

Sonic may not care about his reputation in other peoples eyes, but he cares greatly about how his actions affect his friends.

part 3: the conclusion

its easy to assume that, based on how lax Sonic is with rules and social conventions, him disguising himself just to cause a distraction for Amy and Tails to get attention off of them would be out of character. but, based on the circumstances, i think that it makes enough sense given the context for him to take the route that he does.

sorry if this analysis is a little all over the place, im sorta scatter brained right now but i wanted to get my thoughts out about this cuz its been on my mind

[sexisdisgusting]

Hello I'm Lenka Stojanovic, welcome to my blog

i'm a balkan ex-muslim lesbian woman in my 20s and a big scary radfem. if that threatens you, block me. my blog is crypto safe (if you're crypto, follow only if you want—your safety is my priority).

this is mainly a radfem blog, but i also post funnies and things i find pretty/cool. if you're wondering why i followed you and you're not a radfem blog, that's why.

i LOVE being spammed with reblogs and likes, so please don't feel afraid to do so!!

i identified as "trans/nonbinary" for years before reclaiming my womanhood, and i'm so happy i did (it's never too late). there's no "right" or "wrong" way to be a woman. i was a huge trans activist for years before realizing it doesn't and will never benefit me despite their lies. i don't argue with tras—go kick rocks and debate with the mirror, loser.

i post free pdfs, resources, graphics, and everything else of the sort on this blog. feel free to explore and read—it's not illegal despite what you've been made to think (#useful).

any designs i create and post on this blog are entirely free for personal and commercial use. i don't want or require credit—do whatever your heart desires with them (create pins, t-shirts, print them out, sell them, anything!! idc!) (#my designs).

though i do have some hashtags i regularly use to keep things somewhat organized, in general, i don't use tags a lot, if ever.

my blog is open to any and all women, even the trans-identified ones. you are all welcome here and i love you (in other terms, my blog is open to all "afabs," even "transmen" and those who are "nonbinary"). if you're on the fence or reconsidering things, you're safe here, i promise.

also, i don't live in america, so my perspective might be different from what you're used to.

it sometimes takes me a while to reply (i.e. days, weeks...) to my messages because my life can get busy at times, but rest assured i will get back to you, and love chatting!! (i sometimes also just come on here to feverishly reblog but don't have the energy to converse, i hope you understand). i don't always reply to every reply on my posts because sometimes there's nothing else left to say! you've summed it up perfectly! but i LOVE reading all replies!!!

my messages are only on for mutuals, and asks are completely off. sometimes i'll turn on asks for an hour or two before turning them back off. on that note, any of my beloved regular anonitas i had, i implore thee to make side accounts so we can chat because i really miss you all, though my asks aren't coming back full time any time soon.

there are more trans activists/trans people turned radfems than there are radfems turned trans activists/trans people—think about why that is.

you're not the only one who thinks these thoughts, i promise you there are SO many women who think the same as you. you just haven't found them yet, or they're in hiding.

i love you! mua!! xx

i also have a sideblog in case things go awry (i get banned for being too wild) and that side blog is: sexisforeverdisgusting

[misfitwashere]

Friends,

Trump called attention to the discrepancy between his height (reportedly 6-foot-3) and Kamala Harris’s (5-7½ in heels), insisting that no accommodation be made to appear closer in size.

“No boxes or artificial lifts will be allowed to stand on during my upcoming debate with Comrade Kamala Harris,” he wrote, adding that such accommodations would be “a form of cheating.” There’s no evidence Harris has sought such things. 

Nicholas Rule, a psychology professor at the University of Toronto who researches social perception and cognition, said Harris’s shorter height will be irrelevant tonight because she exudes “Tall Energy,” which he defined as “the confidence that comes from being above average height.”

I am 4-feet-10. At my highest, I was 4-feet-11. I doubt I have “Tall energy.” But if I were on the stage tonight with Donald Trump, I’d demolish him. 

To be sure, when it comes to choosing leaders, our society is exceptionally heightist. 

When I ran for the Democratic nomination for governor of Massachusetts in 2002, it seemed that the only attribute reporters wanted to cover was my height. Regardless of what I said in my speeches, the Boston Globe ran photos of me standing on boxes so I could see over the podium. The right-wing Boston Herald ran a headline on its front page charging “Short People Are Furious with Reich” because I had joked about my height on the campaign trail. 

None of it helped me with that election. But I didn’t lose because of my height. I lost because I was a lousy campaigner.

Research shows that voters do prefer taller candidates. A paper published in 2013 by psychologists at the University of Groningen in the Netherlands analyzed the results of American presidential elections dating back to 1789. They found that taller candidates received more votes than shorter ones in roughly two-thirds of all elections. And the taller the candidates were relative to their opponents, the greater the average margin of their victory. 

Among presidents who have sought a second term, winners have been two inches taller, on average, than losers. The authors conclude that height may explain as much as 15 percent of the variation in election outcomes. 

It’s similar in the private sector. A survey of the heights of CEOs of Fortune 500 companies showed they were on average six feet tall -- about 2.5 inches taller than the average American man.

Why are we so heightist? Probably because of some genetic trigger in our brain that told early humans they needed the protection of very big men. Other things being equal, large males are more to be feared and they live longer. An impulse to defer to them, or prefer them as mates, makes evolutionary sense.

In Size Matters, Stephen S. Hall writes that in the eighteenth-century Frederick William of Prussia paid huge sums to recruit giant soldiers from around the world, thereby giving tangible value to matters of inches, and revealing “the desirability of height for the first time in a large, post-medieval society.”

But hey, I’m okay with giant soldiers, big security guards, and massive CEOs. I don’t care if I lack “Tall energy.” I’m fortunate to have grown up (or at least grown upward) in a society that values brains at least as much as brawn.

Kamala will win tonight, and she’ll go on to win the election in 55 days — not because of her “Tall energy,” but because she’s smarter, tougher, and better in every way than her large, stupid, decrepit opponent. 

[doyouknowthischaracter]

Do you think the polls are inherently biased, because the well-known characters will be shared more wheras the unknown characters might never even reach their bubble where they are actually known by a lot of people?

Short answer is no.

Long answer is: well, if we want to be pedantic, an argument could be made that no method of collecting data via surveys, even self-administered surveys, is completely free of bias because that's just human nature and all you can do is minimize it by wording questions neutrally, trimming outliers, etc etc. With that out of the way, one very important thing to note here is that this isn't an opinion survey. The question being asked is very straightforward and the answer is not something that can be swayed or influenced by peer pressure, propaganda, unwillingness to disclose private information, or any other factors, be they internal or external. You either know a character or you don't. I mean, people could certainly lie, in either direction, but 1) why would you do that?? it's not even like we have winners or losers here, and 2) there's nothing I can do about it anyway.

Now, when it comes to sampling bias (which, from what I understand, is what you're actually asking about) my answer is still no, I don't think that's accurate. Popular characters will reach more people and get more votes overall precisely because they're more popular. If this were a tournament style blog or if I were asking your opinion on the character in question, then yes, I could definitely see how more well-known characters would be at an unfair advantage (or how tagging the polls with the character's name is encouraging that bias, as it's been suggested before), but this is not that! Well-known characters reaching their bubbles faster/more efficiently than obscure characters is an inherent part of being more popular. Everything is working as intended.

All that being said, there are a few factors which I think could influence results somewhat unfairly, but I wouldn't necessarily call them bias. They're more like limitations of the medium.

Firstly, the time and day of the week when a poll is published. I don't have access to this kind of data right now, but off the top of my head, I'd say Sundays around 10pm is when Tumblr users are most active. That, coupled with the fact that most users are from the United States, means that polls that come out of the queue on US Sundays during that time window have a chance to reach more people than all the others. However, this potential problem is organically circumvented by people going back to see previously posted polls, finding polls through reblogs or from tag searches, etc. So it's not really a significant difference. I haven't noticed the numbers reflecting this yet either, but in theory that's how social media works, so I thought it was worth pointing out.

Secondly, polls that were posted early on when the blog had fewer followers reached less people, on average, than polls being posted at the moment or that will be posted in the future. No argument there, that's just a fact. But, again, this is a limitation of the medium. Potentially, I could repost older polls at some point in the future and reassess characters' popularity, but how do I choose which ones? All of them? Wouldn't we just get stuck in a loop of reposting the same characters over and over then? That'd be no fun. So I don't really think there's anything to be done here, unfortunately.

Thirdly, meme-able characters will be see better engagement and consequently higher numbers of votes. Point in case, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Once again, not something that can be helped, not really. I do my best to maintain uniformity in how I format the polls and which pictures I choose (as high quality as I can find, cropped adequately, consistent size, etc.). But some characters will just have better chances of being shared around by virtue of featuring in memes or having some recognizable line or something like that.

To sum it up, overall I don't think there's an inherent bias in how the polls work at the moment. I do think there are certain factors that could marginally influence voting numbers, but not the votes themselves. (Which is why I've decided to compile two separate lists, by number of votes and by percentage-- they measure slightly different things, but that's a post for another day.) As long as every follower of this blog is delivered every poll to their dash and everyone pinky promises not to lie and screw up my numbers on purpose, then I'd say we're golden.

This is probably more than you asked for lol, but hopefully it all makes sense. And as always, feel free to share your opinion. I'm always happy to hear it!

[smoshidiot]

SMOSH DASHBOARD SIMULATOR

😎 the-chosen

Broke another MGS record last night. My purpose grows greater by the day. Impressive…

14 notes

🐻 steviesblog Follow

Starting a new journey! Day 1 of trying to get Ian and Anthony to hang out with me

I don't think they saw me today. Maybe hiding in a bush is too discrete.

🐻 steviesblog Follow

Day 2 of trying to get Ian and Anthony to hang out with me

Anthony hit me with his car. Posts may be delayed for a bit :/

1 note

📦 boxmann

@boxmansgf respond to my texts c'mon =(

🎁 boxmansgf Follow

not until you apologize for calling me a dude 💔

📦 boxmann

babe I'm sorry I miss you. I'd throw boiling water at anyone who wrongs you. come back pls =((

3 notes

🔍 smoshanthony

i peaked here

#emo #smosh #y2k #emoboy

14.3k notes

🌸 smoshidiot

ugh guys i'm ngl ian is so penis

🌸 smoshidiot

PRECIOUS. IAN IS SO PRECIOUS. help

☀️ smoshian

874 notes

☀️ smoshian

Just found out it's not called a flashlight... YALL ARE SUM FREAKS.

#Anthony showed me one it was so nasty

39 notes

😤 courtney-freakin-miller Follow

Ian looked at me funny today. I CAN AND WILL END HIM !!!!!

😎 the-chosen

You need to chill.

28 notes

🕵🏻‍♀️ wet-cop Follow

Please let me know if you see this man's whereabouts. My ask box is open for any tips.

😸 firecrotchney

😭😭 that's literally Ian Hecox

#bestie I promise you Ian did not kill your son

142 notes

🌑 rredactedd Follow

███ ███ ████ ████ ████ ███ ████████ ████ ████ ████████ ████

☎️ urmyfavepizzaplace

you're my favorite pizza place!

12 notes

🗡️ garretts-blog Follow

Stop calling me emo. I'm way cooler than those losers.

☎️ urmyfavepizzaplace

you're my favorite pizza place!

🗡️ garretts-blog Follow

shut the hell up

21 notes

😸 firecrotchney

Give me what they have

#ugh they're the besties of all time

83 notes

👔 rasattack Follow

41 notes

[starmergeddon]

To someone who doesn't live in the UK and has only a very basic understanding of the different parties involved, pray could you provide a very brief rub-down of the election situation? Also a side question, where exactly did Rishi Sunak and the Tories in general fuck up? I've been getting a lot of British politics posts on my dash and I was curious. You seem like a reliable fellow to ask :)

Btw you really don't have to answer this ask if you don't want to or if it's too much work. In that case, could you point me in the right direction for some online resources I can refer to? Thank ye very much, cheers!

for context, I recieved this ask the day after the election, and somehow managed to miss it for 3 weeks. oops.

if you don't know how British elections work, here are three youtube videos from Jay Foreman which I recommend: how elections work, how elections don't work, and the bit that isn't elected at all

very long post under the cut...

the british political parties

like the US, the UK is a two-party state. unlike the US, the UK has more than two relevant political parties. here they are, in order of seats won this year:

Labour Party (411 (63.2%) seats, with 33.7% of votes)

won this year's General Election.

led by kid starver, queer harmer Keir Starmer, namesake of this blog.

was the Big Left-Wing Party. has recently become the Big Party which Doesn't Stand for Anything, Really, Except for Winning Elections and Hurting Transgender People, due to Starmer's leadership.

oddly patriotic. wants to establish "Great British Railways" and "Great British Energy". Nobody really knows yet what they mean by this.

former leader Ed Miliband is the man in my pfp, pictured failing to eat a bacon sandwich. Some speculate that this photo was the reason he lost the election in 2015.

Conservative "Tory" Party (121 (18.6%) seats, with 23.7% of votes)

tonight's Big Loser.

led by fishy, dishy Rishi Sunak, but not for long, because they're electing a new leader on Halloween.

was the Big Right-Wing Party. is still the Big Right-Wing Party, but is now also an Embarrassment.

they were in power for 14 years until this election.

Directly responsible for this country's decline over the past... 14 years.

their colour is more of a dark blue, but Tumblr doesn't let me do that.

Liberal Democrat Party (72 (11.1%) seats, with 12.2% of votes)

returned to its rightful place as the Third Party.

led by Sir Ed Davey, who spent the election campaign bungee jumping, playing Jenga, and paddleboarding.

is the Centrist Party that Nobody Really Cares About.

somehow is more left-wing than Labour.

Scottish National Party (SNP) (9 (1.4%) seats, with 2.5% of votes)

tonight's Medium-Sized Loser.

led by John Swinney, who was also their leader like 20 years ago.

unsurprisingly, is the Scottish Independence Party. is also more left-wing than Labour.

their colour is yellow, but Tumblr doesn't let me do that.

Reform UK Ltd. (5 (0.8)% seats, with 14.3% of votes)

Fascist Cunts.

led by Nigel Farage.

not actually a political party, for some reason.

enough said. (for now)

Green Party (4 (0.6%) seats, with 6.7% of votes)

the one I voted for.

co-led by Carla Denyer and Adrian Ramsey.

the Actually Left-Wing Party. Their slogan is "real hope, real change" which sums it up.

Plaid Cymru (4 (0.6%) seats, with 0.7% of votes)

the SNP, but Welsh. (it's pronounced "Plad Cumry")

led by Rhun ap Iorweth. (pronounced "Rune app You're weth")

their colour is dark green, but Tumblr doesn't let me do that.

None of these parties run for election in Northern Ireland, which is part of the UK, but not part of Great Britain. NI is an entirely different situation which I don't know about.

so what actually Happened? Now that the scene is set, I'll go through the events that transpired, from the conservative landslide in 2019 to the conservative demise in 2024.

2019

the Conservatives don't have enough MPs who want to vote for their Brexit plan, so they call a snap general election. in the UK, our elections aren't at regular intervals. ONLY the Prime Minister decides when they happen, within a 5 year limit. this is important later...!

they win a massive landslide victory, with Boris Johnson as their PM. the SNP wins 48 out of 59 seats in Scotland.

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn (affectionately known as Jezza) resigns, as does LibDem leader Jo Swinson.

2020

Keir Starmer takes over as Labour leader, and is immediately very boring. Labour gets more unpopular.

Jezza is kicked out of the Labour party, as are many of his supporters, on false allegations of antisemitism.

Boris finally "gets Brexit done" (this was his slogan.) The Tories get more popular. The Brexit Party changes its name to Reform UK, but they're still considered right-wing extremists

COVID happens. Everyone rallies round the flag. The Tories get more popular.

Boris gets COVID and nearly dies.

top conservative politicians hold parties in Downing Street, breaking their own lockdown rules, but shhhh! nobody knows about that yet! these keep happening until April 2021

The NHS begins to collapse a bit more than it already had, due to Conservative underfunding. The Tories get less popular.

Chancellor Rishi Sunak announces a program giving people discounts to eat out in restaurants. COVID cases spike. The Tories get less popular.

It's revealed that one of the top Tories, Dominic Cummings, broke lockdown rules by visiting family. The Tories get less popular.

End of year - Tories and Labour tied in the polls.

2021

the Queen's husband dies. She goes to his funeral, socially-distanced, alone. on the same day, more Downing Street parties are held.

not much else happens?? until December, when

people start to find out that the Tories were breaking their own rules by partying in Downing Street. Immediately, the Labour Party gains a 7% lead in the polls.

2022 - shit hits the fan

people are MAD about the lockdown parties. it's named Partygate and the police start to investigate.

Russia invades Ukraine. Boris tries to distract everyone by supporting Zelenskyy.

the police conclude their investigation. Boris Johnson becomes the first Prime Minister to have officially broken the law. as a firm punishment, he is fined.... £50. (so are Rishi Sunak, and lots of others.)

Everything gets expensive. Many people are now choosing between eating and heating their home.

Just after this happens, it's revealed that Johnson also gave promotions to a Tory who he knew had committed sexual assault. His cabinet revolts. He is forced to resign as Conservative Party leader. But because he is Prime Minister, he's the only one who can call an election, and he simply chooses not to! because he knows he'd lose!

The new Prime Minister is chosen not by the people, but by the Conservative Party members. people hate this.

Liz Truss beats Rishi Sunak in the final contest. She becomes Prime Minister.

The Queen dies.

Liz Truss crashes the economy. All hell breaks loose. The Labour Party now have a 25% lead in the polls.

The Daily Star starts a YouTube livestream - will Liz Truss leave office before this lettuce expires?

Liz Truss loses control of her MPs. She, too, is forced to resign, just 40 days after becoming PM! Because she doesn't have to call an election, she doesn't.

The lettuce won.

ONCE AGAIN it is up to the Conservative Party leadership to choose a Prime Minister... except nobody wants to be Prime Minister. Rishi Sunak becomes Prime Minister without being elected by ANYBODY

2023

not much extra happens, for a while. people are just sick and tired of the Tories

They decide it's a good idea to try and deport asylum seekers to Rwanda, because immigration is "too high".

Nicola Sturgeon gets bored of being a politician and resigns as SNP leader. Without a clear successor, the SNP destroys itself finding a new leader.

Nicola Sturgeon is also arrested on suspicion of having funnelled money out of the SNP to herself before she resigned! (she's cleared of suspicion, but the public gain a conception of the SNP being corrupt.)

Shit happens in Gaza. The Tories back Israel. Labour, having shifted massively to the right, also back Israel. People become unhappy with both of them, and still are today.

2024

A general election has to happen this year. The Tories are still 20% behind in the polls.

It's announced that the UK entered a small recession at the end of 2023.

Four asylum seekers are sent to Rwanda. They spent £700,000,000 on this.

Rishi constantly dodges questions about when the general election will be, simply saying it will come "in the second half" of the year. Most people think he means autumn.

He did not mean autumn. He calls an election for 4 July, but forgets to bring an umbrella in the process, and gets rained on.

Nigel Farage immediately takes control of Reform UK. (He's allowed to do that because it's technically a company, and as owner of said company he can do what he wants)

Reform UK surges in popularity, reaching 17% in the polls, just behind the Conservatives at 21%

Rishi leaves a D-day event halfway through to give an interview with a TV broadcaster, in which the multimillionaire claimed his childhood was hard because he didn't have Sky TV.

The Conservatives decide to cure their election woes by sending all 18-year-olds to National Service. (ie. military)

It's also revealed that many top Tories placed bets on the election being held on 4 July.

The Conservative Party loses voters to Labour on their left, and to Reform on their right.

election result analysis

where did it go wrong for the Tories? uh, everywhere.

where did it go right for Labour, though? depends who you ask...

voters decisively rejected the Conservatives, choosing either Reform, Labour, or LibDem instead.

however, they weren't enthusiastic about Labour instead. many Labour wins came about as a result of Reform splitting the right-wing vote in half.

polling suggests most people who voted Labour did so to remove the Tories from power.

Fewer people voted for Labour this year than in 2019, but they doubled their seats in Parliament. Our voting system is fucked.

The Green Party quadrupled its seat share. They have won in every seat they have targeted.

Five leftist independent MPs beat Labour in what were "safe" constituencies. One of them was Jeremy Corbyn!! What this shows is that people don't really like Labour, or that people really don't like Labour. They want something better.

The SNP is nearly wiped out in Scotland, despite getting 30% of the Scottish vote. Labour wins most seats in Scotland with 35% of the Scottish vote.

The "Party of Women" (which is literally just TERFs) got fewer votes than the Monster Raving Loony Party. Lmao.

19 people voted for Elmo in Keir Starmer's constituency.

More people voted for the Conservatives and Reform UK combined than they did for Labour. If Labour doesn't get its shit together, we could be in trouble.

what's happened since the election?

7 Labour MPs have already been kicked out of the party for voting to adopt measures to lift 1.6 million children out of poverty

pressure from Greens and independents led to Labour accepting the ICC's arrest warrant for Netanyahu and stopping some arms sales to Israel's genocide.

what happens next?

the Tories choose a new leader on Halloween. other than that? fuck knows lmao. what the 2019-2024 parliament tells us is that anything can happen. as mentioned before, we don't even know when the next election is.

where exactly did Rishi Sunak and the Tories in general fuck up?

you tell me

i also realise just now, after typing all that out, that you asked for a "very brief rub-down" of what happened............. yeah my bad

[prince-liest]

YOURE TELLING ME MY DESPERATION FOR TRANS VOX CONTENT INFECTED YOU ????? AND THE NEXT INSTALLMENT IS ABOUT IT AS WELL AS VOX FINALLY GETTING FUCKED? YOURE JOKING. YOURE JOKING. OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDHHSHSJEHEHRJRE IM SOBBING ON THE FLOOR I PRAYED FOR TIMES LIKE THESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m ready to get sucker punched!!!!!!!!!!! in all seriousness i’ve never been so excited for a fic update in my LIFE. HOORAYYYYYYY!!!!!!! and who wants to bet that alastor at first uses the vox getting fucked event as a balm to his current fractured ego, but then gets genuinely overwhelming fucking fond? nearly ruins the whole thing for him. all i’m SAYING is the there’s wayyyyy to much evidence of alastor getting, in his words, “squishy feelings” about vox when he acts Particularly uhhh….. unfiltered. and something tells me vox is gonna be unfiltered. the possibilities im SO EXCITED!!!! - 🌓

Under a cut for length!

and ANOTHER THING. alastor making a FUCKING DEAL?.????? as you know i was already wrung dry by that point in the story, ready for the cool down from high emotions, then BOOM. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK? I NEEDED TO TAKE A BREAK WITH VOX!!!!!!!! ALASTOR YIU FUCKING MAD MAN. and yes i IMMEDIATELYYYYYYY noticed that vox essentially agreed to nothing while alastor agreed to something WAY more soul binding. im just in shock because i think this is the biggest display of love alastor has portrayed in the whole series so far. even BY far. with the sexual stuff, alastor is/was new to it all and unsure. even with the general intimacy stuff. but this? deals? soul contracts? this is His Domain. so far, vox has been guiding alastor through this relationship, and alastor has almost had a plausible deniability in it all. like clearly, he enjoys it and loves vox, even if he doesnt acknowledge it to himself. but his facade allows him the distance to claim Vox is the one making this relationship happen, and alastor is going along on a whim. we even see it in the last chapter, when alastor says he never trusted vox [hilarious that he said that right after he said that he trusted vox. alastor revealing things he didn’t mean to when scared and angry is my favorite theme in this series], and overall said this whole thing was a mistake and he was Foolish for being TRICKED INTO IT!!! i’m not explaining this well but the idea is that alastor had the plausible deniability that he was the Passive Participant thus far. this deal? CHANGES ALL OF THAT. on a base level, it shows that he’s so serious about this relationship that his FUCKING SOUL IS ON THE LINE. THE THING THAT JUST TRIGGERED HIM INTO HIS FIRST PANIC ATTACK? YEAH THAT. and of course that the contract was wayyyyyy more binding for him than vox. and that he clearly KNEW that. it’s just all a double edged sword. alastor made the deal in order to flex his power and pull one over on vox, which soothed him after the panic attack and vox seeing him that “weak”. but he also did it because vox opened up to him about his experience with domestic violence. and he felt so uncomfortable and guilty (YES guilty im interpreting it like that) about it that, at the very least subconsciously, he immediately made a SOUL CONTRACT that he’d never attack vox again rashly. like oh my fucking god. this, in turn, shows how invested he is, and how much he cares for vox. IN SUM. alastor probably made this deal as a conscious power play, but it really just showed how much he loves and respects vox. LOSER!!!!!!! and is this reminding anyone of anything? seems to be paralleling vox carving himself up for alastor post adam. god these ancient men. sorry for the essay !!!! if you were a college professor and i had to write analytical essays on your work i PROMISE i would tear that shit up. LIFE IS GOOD. -🌓

Hey anon, I just want you to know that ILY and I love your essays. This is like the most exciting and gratifying pair of asks to wake up to as an author, ehehehe. You are VERY on point and I love reading your analysis! >:))

[capoteera]

Exactly!! I’m so mad that these people get away with this nonsense //

1. 100% sure none of these losers have been to any part of Portugal, and they're eating their hearts out about it.

2. This is when you know the depression has made them hit rock bottom. They're at zero. Alba has shown up for an opportunity they will never have, looking better than they ever will, and is loved by a gorgeous, rich man who gushes when he talks about her. Who looks giddy in love when he's with her.

They'll never have any of that. Not just Chris. They know damn well they'll never know love like this. No one out there will adore them like this.

The sum total if Alba's life? That joyful, loved up freedom? The choice to either continue her career or stay home and have some gorgeous babies for Christopher Robert Evans? Or anything in between? The freedom to do whatever she wants with the rest of her life, knowing that she'll always be fine and her husband has her back? They'll never have it.

Alba is literally just going about her business, and yet... To have the power to do nothing and still lay waste to the psyche of people whose existence she's blissfully unaware of...that's power few of us will ever see.

It's making them sick. They're screaming, crying and throwing up. And so they come online and post vile shit, because that is the sum total of THEIR lives. That's the pinnacle of their achievements...writing nasty comments and anons to each other to agree with themselves. That's their biggest accomplishment.

So now they're shitting on the entire country of a woman they would trade lives with in a heartbeat.

Loser energy.

But what else can you expect from them? They literally have nothing else to give. They have no choice but to come online and vomit their jealousy all over their own blogs.

If they had anything else to live for, anything at all, this wouldn't affect them like this. But this, this loser shit that they do, day after day...that's all they have. This is what they have to do to cope with the dead end that is their lives.

They look at this couple and they're forced to take stock of their own barren lives, and it’s turned them all into the most grotesque version of themselves. It's ugly, but ugly is all they have. Ugly is all they are.

I don't even think they can even help it anymore. Like is said, it's that loser energy. They’re typing through their tears.

[enapills]

HOPEFULLY IM UR FIRST REQUEST😈😈

can i request an akito x fem! reader who's a producer??

from, catarina <33

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏⠀⠀ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏ ͏͏͏⠀were going to hollywood , baby !

ACTION? CUT! - prod. honakito

posted as : request

chars : s. akito

type : x fem ! reader

scenario : akito with a film producer girlfriend ( headcanons )

notes : HELL YEAH FIRST REQUEST when i saw this i jumped up from joy and squealed like a seal what the fuck !!!!! LETS HAVE A HARDCORE MAKEOUT SESSION ,,,, anyway . eerrr enjoy i dont know if im the proudest of this

notes 2 : i didnt know if u meant producer as in music producer or film producer  so i did only film producer based on your blogs aesthetic, but i could also do music producer reader if i can squeeze out some time from my personal life like it is a toothpaste tube screeching from agony whenever those roller thingies are used on it for getting out the smallest bit of paste

date : 17 / 01 / 24 - 18 / 01 / 24

he probably didnt know about your career choice till you started getting close. 

it was near the start of your relationship. akito invited you out to watch vivid bad squad practice when it happened. so when you mentioned something related to it when they were taking a break, he was like ‘ ??? what  ‘ . 

so, of course, you told him you were a film producer. and boy was he surprised. because somehow he managed to be the only one that didnt know.

well, he was pleasantly shocked, atleast.

now, logically , he admires you a tad bit! he knows a little about acting and directing, after all, he was literally the protagonist in a movie. the film indistry doesnt amaze him much, but he absolutely knows the amount of hard work it goes in one movie and—

i think he admires you more than a bit. 

hes probably more amazed of the fact that you can stay composed, under all of the stress that comes in the process.

if youre in the same class, he will most definitely ask you about how things are going on set. hes more than glad to hear you ramble about what you’re currently working on.

he is interested in everything youre producing. every plot seems watch-worthy if it is you whos explaining it.

but if not, it doesnt really change - he’d still do the same things but in breaks. 

during the best picture wrap, he accidentally went on a yappin session about you to nene when directing the film - hence why you two probably got closer. then an teased him about it.

and if you finally release a movie — lo and behold — he will try his absolute BEST to watch it on the release day and give his personal opinions to you.

down to analysis and criticism, he will give it. except the criticism is barely there. nothing sucks to him if its made by you. biased loser in love

summed up, hes a movie nerd when it comes to your passions results .

this is a little ooc im killing myself soon

dividers arent mine ; credits to the rightful owners on TUMBLR